Having to deal with our
emotions when a significant relationship ends is not an easy task I must say.
However, realizing the significant of that break and interpreting it well is
quite important. We can learn from the break and become stronger, better
equipped for life and way better people. Relationships end and things get sour.
You shouldn’t kill yourself because someone thinks of you as less of a person.
You should be strong enough to restrain from despair and giving up on yourself.
Don’t begin to feel less about yourself.
Because you were jilted by
a lover doesn’t mean you are not a good person. It could mean he/she was just
too dumb enough not to realize how special and unique you are.
You probably got a sack
letter from your boss or a letter requesting you discontinue a business
relationship with your business partner and you begin to feel rejected, that is
not the way to go! Yes, you have been told you are not needed but who says it
is the end of the world? Who says that was where you were meant to be anyway?
You could be better off doing something else or doing the same thing in an
entirely different place.
Recovering from a break up
is mostly difficult but you should keep reminding yourself that you “can” and
“will” move on.
Think
through everything thoroughly but don’t over think it:
Go through everything that
happened over and over again. Try to find out what went wrong and why it did.
Thinking about the reasons why it ended can make it much clearer to you that it
takes two people to start a relationship, but just one discordant person is
enough to end it. It may also help you avoid many missteps in the future if you
can identify areas where you contributed to the demise of the relationship.
Don’t
rethink your decision:
If the idea to end the relationship or break
up was yours, probably because you have discovered that your partner is not
someone you can move along with or the negatives outweighs the positive, stick
to your decision. Avoid romanticizing the good times and forgetting your reason
for ending the relationship in the first place.
Wisely
cope with the pain:
Though you might feel you
have messed things up pretty bad or you did so wrong a thing, it is healthy to
admit your faults because no one is perfect. You should however remind yourself
that you did your possible best that you could do giving circumstances and
situations beyond your control.
Find
happiness in other areas of your life:
At the moment you might
feel like a total jerk but it is quite advisable to delve into other aspects of
your life that you feel happy about as a source of comfort. This would also
help in dealing with that feeling of failure and help in boosting your esteem
just at the critical moment when it seems it is about to crumble.
Begin
to think positively and let the negative emotions be:
It is wise to realize that
there is no gain to be achieved from continued reliving of painful incidents.
Let go of the negative feelings. There is no gain in holding on to anger
towards the other person or hating yourself over it. Have it in mind that
although the relationship is over, you both shared unique moments which you
should be able to learn from.
Turn
to friends and family members who love you:
Talk to your friends and
let them be fountains of comfort for you. Draw strength from their encouraging
words and gestures. You will want friends around you. Those who understand what
you are going through.
Write
all your feelings down:
It helps when you do this
honestly and don’t purposefully leave some aspects of the incident out of the
write up. You would be amazed how clearer every thing would appear to you. As
your grieving begins to lessen, you will begin to find it easier to understand
valuable life lessons from the whole incident. No relationship is ever a
failure if you manage to learn something about yourself. Just because it didn't
work out doesn't mean it wasn't a necessary part of your journey to becoming
who you're meant to be.
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