PART 1:
DEFINING AND UNDERSTANDING SELF
ESTEEM
Self esteem, the evaluation of our self worth is as
important as our very existence. To understand the need for that evaluation,
and to have a realistic view, lets explore various definitions of the very term
from different sources: popular psychologists, dictionaries, leading
personalities, lay people, and others.
According to Braden (1969), self esteem is an essential
human need that is as vital for survival and normal healthy development. It
occurs in conjunction with a person’s thoughts, behaviors, feelings and actions
and arises automatically from within based upon a person’s beliefs and
consciousness.
Psychologist Abraham Maslow in his hierarchy of needs
stressed the need for self esteem from both other people as well as our inner
persons he portrayed self esteem as one part of basic human motivations. He
suggests that the most stable source of self esteem is not public acclaim or
praise. Rather, it is genuine accomplishment.
In psychology, the term self esteem is used to describe
a person’s overall sense of self worth or his/her sense of personal value. It
reflects a person’s overall evaluation or appraisal of his/her self worth.
Nathaniel Branden (1969) defined esteem as “the
experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and
being worthy of happiness”.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defined it as “the sense
of personal worth and ability that is fundamental to an individual’s identity”.
The American heritage dictionary of the English language
has defined self esteem as respect for or a favorable opinion of oneself.
Kernerman English multilingual dictionary gave a very
short definition of the term. It defined it as “a person’s respect for
himself”.
Dictionary.com defines self esteem as a realistic
respect for or favorable impression of oneself.
Susan hales (1989) however, has defined self esteem as
the evaluative function of the self-concept. it is the affective or emotional
experience of the evaluations one makes with respect to one’s personal worth.
In 1990, The California state task force defined it as ”appreciating my own worth and importance and
having the character to be accountable for myself and to act responsible
towards others”.
PART
1B: MEANING OF SELF ESTEEM
Do you always focus on not making it in life? Research
has shown that people with low esteem tend to do that. Whereas, people with a
high sense of self worth focus on growth and improvement.
Are you always withdrawn, insecure, underachieving,
unhappy, socially inept, unmotivated, depressed, dependent and a non-risk
taker? That is a low self esteem speaking out. Self esteem is that opinion of
yourself that affects your disposition in life. It creates a position for you
and gives you an identity. It is that feeling you get when you feel “well… I am more than this” or you feel “I could
have done better”. Not only that, it could also be that factor that makes you
say “I can’t do it”.
Self worth, a feeling of one’s worthiness can destroy you
or make you a better person.
It is that need for self respect and also respect
from other people. It is a form of subjective feedback about the adequacy of
the self. It could either be positive or negative. Positive when the particular
individual copes well with challenges and setbacks and negative when the
individual avoids situations, objects or personalities that serve as threats.
One’s
self evaluation doesn’t however become instant.
It is subject to experiences:
experiences during childhood, experiences of love, criticism, experiences of
being physically and sexually abused, rejection, humiliation, lack, happiness,
etc. Some develop their self esteem from the need to defend themselves from
rejection or to maintain dominance in relationships. In terror management
theory, self esteem is seen as a culturally based construction derived from
integrating specific contingencies valued by society into ones’ own world view.
This theory is of the view that self esteem is sought because it provides
protection against the fear of death. In actual sense, people could develop a feeling
of self worth as a defense mechanism.
Naturally, self esteem goes through phases of different
changes as we ourselves go through life. Peoples’ feelings about themselves
fluctuate as they naturally go through different experiences. One key factor
that affects ones’ self perception is experiences. A day of total rejection and
set backs can greatly influence the self worth of any particular individual. A
person who has just been dumped wouldn’t feel the same sense of self worth as
before the incident. Sometimes, it might take a long time before the proper
level of self worth is rebuilt.
However, some persons take as little as no time
to re-bounce and get that vibrancy back in their steps with their shoulders
held high. People with high esteem would feel temporary fluctuations in their
feelings about themselves but to a certain extent whereas, people with low self
esteem generally tend to base the judgment of their self worth on the feelings
they get in their present condition or with the unfolding of events at a
present time.
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